From One Big Ben to Another...

THE BAD NEWS for Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger: He was suspended for 6 games by the NFL for his conduct in an alleged sexual encounter in a bar.

The GOOD NEWS for Big Ben: The suspension may be shortened if he demonstrates acceptable behavior.
The EVEN BETTER NEWS: The person reviewing his case will be the Pope.

"Hey, Pontiff, big whoop, so I like to do a little 'Flashdancing.' It's Pittsburgh, baby, am I right? How's about a little 'Immaculate Protection' over here?"

Pope Benedict, seen here at the Rome sports bar T.G.I.Good Friday's, celebrating Santonio Holmes' miraculous TD catch in Super Bowl XLIII.

Ash Ash Baby

So air traffic will finally resume over Europe, now that the massive outpouring of ash from the Icelandic volcano has subsided. This was the biggest aviation impact Iceland has had since 1999, when a flock of Bjork's dresses flew into the engines of three planes at the Reykjavik Air Show.



Damn, couldn't find the swan picture. But you get the point.

"Aren't all slopes slippery?" Uh.... nopery.

So i stumbled upon another writer's website, where she was apparently irked by the phrase "slippery slope." "Aren't all slopes, by definition, slippery?" she "wittily" asked.

ANSWER: No. They're not. They have an incline. And that's pretty much the extent of the definition. You could have a slope comprised of 80-grit sandpaper, coated with superglue and flypaper.

When the Triangle Offense Meets Beaker Defense...

Seriously, loves us some Steve Novak, but downright Beaker-esque, no?



And when you're done checking out the eerie similarities between the sharpshooting scrub and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's top lab assistant-- scroll back up to the top photo for a second for more hard evidence of athletes-turned-criminals. (Shannen Brown is clearly smuggling illegal turtles from town to town inside his left calf. Either that, or stuffed baked potatoes from Wendy's. Holy Maria full of smack, that thing is like a cankle that migrated north for the summer.)

Grounded From Beyond the Grave...

Double Bummer for Butler

Not only did the feisty Butler Bulldogs lose the NCAA college basketball championship game to Duke, but Coach Brad Stevens will NOT earn his merit badges in net-cutting and banner-raising.


His parents did promise to take him to Foster's Freeze on the way home, however, despite it being waaaay past his bedtime.