Ash Ash Baby

So air traffic will finally resume over Europe, now that the massive outpouring of ash from the Icelandic volcano has subsided. This was the biggest aviation impact Iceland has had since 1999, when a flock of Bjork's dresses flew into the engines of three planes at the Reykjavik Air Show.



Damn, couldn't find the swan picture. But you get the point.

"Aren't all slopes slippery?" Uh.... nopery.

So i stumbled upon another writer's website, where she was apparently irked by the phrase "slippery slope." "Aren't all slopes, by definition, slippery?" she "wittily" asked.

ANSWER: No. They're not. They have an incline. And that's pretty much the extent of the definition. You could have a slope comprised of 80-grit sandpaper, coated with superglue and flypaper.

When the Triangle Offense Meets Beaker Defense...

Seriously, loves us some Steve Novak, but downright Beaker-esque, no?



And when you're done checking out the eerie similarities between the sharpshooting scrub and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's top lab assistant-- scroll back up to the top photo for a second for more hard evidence of athletes-turned-criminals. (Shannen Brown is clearly smuggling illegal turtles from town to town inside his left calf. Either that, or stuffed baked potatoes from Wendy's. Holy Maria full of smack, that thing is like a cankle that migrated north for the summer.)

Grounded From Beyond the Grave...

Double Bummer for Butler

Not only did the feisty Butler Bulldogs lose the NCAA college basketball championship game to Duke, but Coach Brad Stevens will NOT earn his merit badges in net-cutting and banner-raising.


His parents did promise to take him to Foster's Freeze on the way home, however, despite it being waaaay past his bedtime.

Pounding the old protons

Jubilation in Geneva today, as scientists working on the Hadron Supercollider successfully ran the "Big Bang" machine, colliding protons with three times more force than ever before, and producing 7 trillion electron volts of energy.

Rival scientists, however, are claiming that the Hadron team has equipped their collider with "performance enhancing lugs."

Five Things Tiger Woods Probably Shouldn't Say

After a highly public revelation of multiple mistresses, Tiger Woods has announced he'll return to golf at this year's Masters. Since he'll probably have to do without a teleprompter, here is a quick list of things he should avoid saying...

5. "I'd like everyone to meet my new caddie, Paris Hilton."

4. "I'm just looking forward to lining up my putts again."

3. "You know what they say-- you drive for show, you putt for $3 billion in alimony."

2. "Can you believe the nerve of that Phil Mickelson, trying to cheat with those Ping wedges?"

1. "A lot of sponsors have left me, but I'd love to give a shout-out to my new corporate partner, Doyle's Ball Washers."